Another day with our lovely cast
by Carriles
Summary: A sorta sequel to ' How The Characters REALLY Act', ead it first to get a better understanding of this one. And I swear, I need more of a social life....
1. Chapter 1

" Why are we going to the Phon Coast again?"

" Because my dear Vaan, I need a tan." Penelo responded with a smirk

" And I'm coming along because?" he asked tiredly

" 'Cause you're my bitch remember?" Penelo stated matter-of-factly

" And WHEN DID WE DECIDE THIS??" Vaan asked with a yell

" When I summoned Aunt Jemima and kicked your ass remember?"

::Flashback::

_Penelo pulls out a recursive crossbow and summons Aunt Jemima_

" _Not Aunt Jemima!!" Aunt Jemima appears with her acidic syrup and exploding powduh_

:: End Flashback::

" Oh crap…."

"But its all good Vaany, I'm a good master aren't I?" Penelo then proceeded to pat him on the head

" Oy, I _knew _I should've activated Aunt Jemima on the license board…." Vaan mentally kicked himself and claimed dibs on Toucan Sam for next time

_elsewhere……_

Ashe was thoroughly enjoying herself with Gurdy and all the other moogles excitedly watching the chocobo singing contest.

" I sooo want the red chocobo!!" Ashe squealed

All the other moogles just looked on her strangely…

'_Ugh will she ever shut up!'_

' _I wonder how long It'll take me to go home, grab the dumbbell and knock her over the head..?'_

' _She makes even Rinoa tolerable….'_

' _I hope the hoe knows the red chocbo's mine…' _

" Lady Ashelia! We do not have time to watch this whole event." Basch said

" Aww why noot?"

" Because you promised Miss Penelo that you would meet her at the Phon Coast."

Sigh " And your point is?"

" I believe Sir Balthier will be there as well."

Ashe then again demonstrated her running skills by running faster than Jesse McCartney to Chippendales

" I only thank the Gods for teleport stones…"

_and with Balthier and Fran……_

"Balthier, let Tifa go, she has no reason to be here any longer!' Fran said

" She said she was gonna go jamgameowmeowmeow on me!" Balthier exclaimed

" And I WILL as soon as I get my gloves and then I'll show you how we roll back in the Midgar ghetto son!"

…..after a statement like that how could one _not _want to get away from her, and as such, Balthier and Fran took two steps away from her

" Ok then, I'll give you a teleport stone to go home if you promise to not go jamgameowmeowmeow on me?"

Tifa thought long and hard…….

" Aight, I'll et you off easy this time, but if you ever disturb me and my crocheting time again, you'll find yourself on the sharp end of a plastic spoon." And with that Tifa teleported off

" I never knew plastic spoons could be sharp…." Balthier contemplated

" Its quite easy to do actually…"

" Is there anything you don't know Fran?"

" Besides Vaan's sexuality, not really"

" Ah, I see, so lets go and get me some puffy marshmallows and you some more…thong…outfit…thingies…"

Fran just sighed and followed Balthier to wherever he was going, ever thinking about more mist-related crap that would probably have no more relevance to anyone since they did the whole happy ending thing in the storyline already….


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, as far as the jamgameowmeowmeow goes, its an inside joke between me and my friends. One day one of them says that outta nowhere cause he thought thats what that asian chick in Mean Girls said as "Nigga, please" (OMG THEY SAID THE N-WORD! --) 

oh and by the way

I mean no offense to any real person I refer to )

Continuing!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Back In Rabanastre..._

"OH MY GOD!"

Vaan looked up worriedly turning his head repeatedly

"What's going on Penelo??" he asked

"MY ASS GREW!" she exclaimed

'God knows she needed one...' he thought. Penelo then proceeded to slap the back of his head

"What was that for!" he said

"Bitch, you don't think that about your master!" she yelled

"Wait, you can read my thoughts now?" he asked

"Nah, I'm just cool with the author now." she said

He looks at me

"Why did you pick HER side?!" he screamed

"Because she's the one with the vagina. Duuuuuuuuuuh!" Penelo and I then smile

"SEXIST!"

"Fine, I'll give you a new esper okay?" Vaan then glowed and actived the new space on the license board

"Wait a second. WHAT GOOD CAN WHITNEY HOUSTON DO??"

"That's Whitney during crack. That bitch is crazy." Penelo then paled a little bit. "Seriously, she's a match even for Aunt Jemima."

"YES! WHITNEY! SNIFF MY ENEMIES TO DEATH!"

and their next epic battle began...

_Back with Ashe..._

"Okay, which one would Balthier prefer Fran?" She asked holding two pairs of undies

'How about neither bitch?' Fran thought

"The one on the left" she ended up saying 'Knowing Balthier, if he sees this dumbass in them he might just go for Vaan instead.'

"YAY! I can finally get my knight in shining armor!" she said starry-eyed

'Must not shoot with arrow, must not shoot with arrow...' She kept repeating to herself

"Lady Ashe! We must make haste to Rabanastre! Vaan and Penelo are currently ready to decimate the entire town!"

Fran and Ashe both looked at him, but Fran asked

"With what?" She asked

He shuddered before he spoke his next word

"...Whitney" That was enough to send all three of them running to try and stop the psycho-bitch-esper

At this point the only one missing in action was Balthier, and of course he was in a shop buying marshmallows, another suit, and trying to flirt with a woman all at the same time. But then again, throwing bad pick-up line after bad-pick up line might not be considered flirting

3...

"Hey there, I do believe there's a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them."

2...

"Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus."

1...

"Ever touched a man's penis before?"

SLAP

"Ugh...maybe I should stop..."


End file.
